Bank Holiday Blues

Please give me a tickle tum

Please give me a tickle tum

The radio told me it is Bank Holiday today. Really? What difference does that make to me? To me it’s the same as any other day. I get up sometime between 6 and 8 am when Mum decides to get up, let me out for a pee, clear up then feed me.

Then it is her turn for breakfast. I leave her alone while she eats it, sitting in her favourite chair watching the birds outside, whilst I amuse myself. Then she drinks her second cup of coffee and picks up her laptop. I try to distract her from it by plonking my paw on the keyboard, thus making her next words appear in CAPITALS. She then talks to me in CAPITALS too, if you know what I mean.

That doesn’t faze me much. I can deal with that. No problem.

The next thing I try to distract her attention from her emails or facebook postings, or whatever else she decides is more interesting than me, is to fetch any and every one of my toys and shove them into her left hand (the right one is occupied with the mouse).

It’s tug-o-war time for us. I am determined. Never mind the fact that she doesn’t want to play. I am determined that she should. She makes a feeble attempt at holding one end of the toy while I tug the other. She lets go. Well that’s no fun at all, is it? I have another go, with another toy. She does the same. She’s just not trying. I try biting her hand instead. She talks in CAPITALS again, so I answer her back in CAPITALS too.

All this shouting makes me thirsty so I wander off into my room for a drink and come back dripping, straight onto her laptop keyboard. More CAPITALS issue from her mouth. But it has made her put her laptop down. I quickly disappear under the table.

She’s crafty though. She goes to the cupboard where she keeps my treats and fetches a “bedtime bikkie”. I stupidly fall for it every time, and go sit in my bed ready to receive said bb. She shuts the gate between my room and hers and I am left to be bored again until she decides what we are going to do on this so called Bank Holiday.

I suppose we will do the same as we do every other day.

I settle down for a bit of a snooze…….

“Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet?”

“Shut up!” she says crossly.

She’s ignoring me.

“Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet?”

She gets up, lets me out for another pee. Then says, “Okay you win. I’m going to get dressed.”

But she doesn’t. She goes back to her laptop and starts writing again. “Hummmmph!” I settle down for another snooze…..

“Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet?”

She gets up, lets me out for another pee. Then says, “Okay you win. I’m going to get dressed.”

This time she does. She disappears for ages. The she comes down again, lets me out again. I chase the pigeons out of the garden and bark at the little dunnock pecking around outside my run. He just ignores me. Then I hear it. That dreadful noise that gives me a headache. Her vacuum cleaner. I stay down at the end of my run while she vacuums the world. Well it feels like she’s vacuuming the world. It goes on and on for hours……

Finally she puts it away and I come back in. She gives me a leather chew.

Now I suppose she won’t let me back in the kitchen even, because it’s clean. It’s not fair! She goes back to her laptop, with her lunch. I settle down again for another snooze……

“Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet? Is it walk time yet?”

She gets up, lets me out for another pee. Then says, “Okay you win. I’m going to get ready.”

I wait, and wait, and wait……..

Finally! She’s wearing her scruffy coat. Yipeeeee! Finally, it’s walk time……..

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